i have so much i wanna blog abt that i don’t know where to start and suddenly i rmbed the 3 animals~ so shall structure my post accordingly. ok i must say first e headings are very remotely connected i’m like totally forcing the connections with the text but wdv lol go figure.
there was so much that i wish i could have said and shared and imparted… but it’s not exactly abt me right? the recent books i’ve been reading have been emphasizing the idea that most wounds heal on their own. they simply need to be aired. which really impacted the way i did touchtime and sharings i guess. in general though, i just tot the camp was totally amazing. admin/log was smooth, sessions were powerpacked, music was pro~ wa. not by might sia seriously~ give credit to intercessory =) ESP IVY LAM WE ALL <3 U DEEP DEEP AND WILL PRAY VERY MUCH FOR U.
on another note, i admit i’m rather cynical about post-camp spiritual highs. but in today’s morning praise, when we started singing ‘hosanna’, i closed my eyes and focused on my own worship. and at the chorus, i started to lift my hands and opened my eyes… and lo and behold! i saw a sea of hands in front of me and it just reminded me so much of the image where the congregation was raising their hands towards this giant cross and they were all bathed in this dawning light. and i just couldn’t help but be filled with hope that the seeds sown will blossom in to rose gardens =)
i realize there’s a difference between being expectant and being hopeful. when u expect something, u set yourself up for disappointment. hope is smth more uplifting and more life-giving. bah ok this is for some other time.
the last time i did a camp was last year’s sec 2 i.e. the same batch this time round. most of the times i actually enjoy serving, especially when the service involves people. it’s one of the rare times that i can totally become fully absorbed in what i’m doing and just do the best i can without reservations. putting others before self can be immensely liberating at times. the difference this time round was that i came with a much stronger spiritual foundation i guess. and it just felt super awesome. as i shared aft e camp, some of e worship sessions were e deepest i ever had, even in comparison with sow.
then there was e session soo and i conducted. i think posting what i did on fb before e camp really helped. before e session, i just kept praying for deliverance from fear and suddenly i just focused on the fact that we’re simply part of a larger plan and and just like that, i felt my anxiety dissolve. it’s awesome to just be able to offer what i have and serve without inhibitions and worries.
i just felt very blessed that i was serving with not just community, but friends too. i know that friendship lies very much more in the emotional aspect, rather than the spiritual aspect, but it’s really still a gift. all the small little things: having ppl that i can jio to go bathe, feeling comforted just by ppl sitting beside me, feeling joy that these ppl are conducting such awesome sessions, being able to be there to pray for and comfort these ppl… and the list drags on.
and i guess what jess shared abt really struck me also. everywhere i look, there is someone stepping up in some ministry, being imba in some service. when i was asked, ‘what does community mean to you?’ my reply was, ‘it means that i’m not alone in my faith journey’. i guess the camp just illuminated that so clearly. we were all careening towards god together. it’s like the way you sit in a roller coaster, hold hands and lift them up and scream together, reveling in the thrill of the ride and yet feeling completely safe and secure at the same time. it’s a wonderful feeling.
ok that’s e end of e weirdly connected tripartite recount lol. tired, but happy. no scratch that. tired, but joyful. praise god!