camp was gd. lol tt hardly says anything right. there’s quite a bit to say abt it i think.
i was in music. timtan (random fact: lol this is one letter away from timtam!) says i played w him before and i kinda vaguely rmb it? but hm. ok la anyway i still found it kindof new. it’s fun. and there’s a lot more freedom. but there’s a lot less of e human element. and i think tt got to me. abt playing… there were screwups of course lol but all in all it was rather fun playing with a band and just flowing with e mood.
during e 2nd night (praying with session), i felt smth. i just suddenly felt tt the path tt god is calling us to take is so difficult. it wasn’t directly related to e camp altho i suspect e lack of e personal touch in music ministry might have contributed. it’s not tt it’s impossible. and it’s not that he won’t provide us with the strength and grace to follow that path. but it’s still hard. and i know tt no one said it was gonna be easy. but e realization just hit me really strongly and i felt really heavy abt it. it’s not tt i wanna stray or tt the other paths became alluring or tt i’m gonna give up on this path; i think i’ve walked quite some distance away from tt crossroad alrdy. a part of me tells me tt this is growth. and i guess i accept tt la. but oh well. it’d hv been nice to get a hug tt night.
tt night’s pretty special la. tt night was also a time of sharing. sharings abt gossamer truths~ haha. maybe it was god’s way of comforting me. so a few of us huddled together and talked in hushed whispers and quiet mirth. lol i laugh to myself just thinkg abt it. it’s positively delightful *jane austen nods*.
session went well i think =) i don’t know how commitments and prayer buddies will turn out. actly i’m guessing tt most will cui lol. but for e few tt succeed (if any), i think it’s enough. things like tt aren’t abt e numbers. if even 1 person keeps up his commitment, or if even 1 pair of pbs journey together, then things worked out. doing a last session << a first session tho. it’s like a dead weight looming thru e entire camp bah. then still must sense how e camp is gg and edit so mahfun~
we always pray to be used as god’s instruments when we do camps. and i think he does use us to do his will. but aft doing tob tt didn’t sit so well with me. how can god use us? and then i realized – yes we are used, but we are also loved. we sometimes forget tt we too, are end products. and every camp we do, we’re e end, not just e means to e end. we’re not just e labourers. we’re part of e harvest. tt makes service beautiful. no matter what kind of service you do, you labor as much as you are labored upon. you harvest as much as you are harvested.