We had our wyd openg mass today. The crowd was insane. Tsui’s “too many ppl” just kept repeatg itself to me. And we were super far away from e altar, so we watched e celebrants thru a big screen. We went almost 2h early, but e central seats were barricaded so we couldn’t get in. And e sun was freakg hot. Like mega super skin-cancer hot. So we went to the back where there was some shade at the pavement (got trees) and stayed there. Ppl took out their tops cos it was too hot, everyone chatted cos we couldn’t hear and/or understand, all of us were uncomfortable cos e road was too hot to sit on and everyone was just huddled tgt in a sweaty mass of bodies. So in short: it was hot, it was crowded, we couldn’t see e altar, we couldn’t understand e Spanish and we couldn’t hear e music v well. All in all, a rly unpleasant situation for a claustrophobic introvert like me.

It’s times like this that it gets rly easy to b cynical w institutionalism. Apart from Communion, there was nth personal abt ytd’s mass at all (I was half afraid that we wouldn’t b able to receive cos there were too many ppl). Regardless of how epic such events may be, when u’re in e thick of it and unable to get out cos u’re stuck in e middle of thousands of ppl, it’s impossible to derive any form of mystical significance from e mass.

And I found myself wonderg why such events were even held at all. So many ppl were irritated. E mob was prob e most un-Christian Mass crowd I’ve ever seen. Which is pretty damn ironic, since it was Mass that made everyone’s worst sides come out. I kept wonderg to myself if being a part of all this was worth e price of all e discomfort and frustration.

But I realized that events like these aren’t for e pilgrims present (at least not for most of us). They aren’t even for e celebrants (cos they prob suffer more in their full vestments). It’s for e rest of e world. Like how bday celebrations are sometimes more for others to celebrate, than for e actual bday boy/girl. Or how weddgs are more for e families/relatives than for e bride/groom. It’s for everyone else to see how epic this event is, how many youths are faithful and how universal e church is.

It’s small consolation. But it helped to drive my bitterness away I think.

We ended e night w a pretty awesome p&w from a Canadian band that was rly good. E place was surprisingly un-crowded. Had a good enough crowd to create an awesome atmosphere, but not too big to suffocate. So I got my dose of mysticism in e end. God had His plans aft all I guess.

I’m still not lookg fwd to e papal openg mass tho. Apparently, e plan is to go 7h early so we can get seats near e altar ._. dono which is worse – waitg for 7h or sufferg 2h during e actual Mass.


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About Mel

I dreamt I was a whale.