fears

when we were asked today to write down our fears, i think i surprised myself when i realized what my fears were.

1. i’m scared of losing sight of God, amidst this busyness.
2. i’m scared of being alienated because by e time i’m done w e hell weeks, everyone will hv moved on w their lives tt i won’t be part of.
3. i’m scared of not being able to cope and just ending up flailing (nope i don’t mean failing).
4. i’m scared of doing too well, and letting my pride get e better of me.
5. i’m scared of becoming someone that i don’t want to be.

swee used a nice psg today – of jesus calling peter out to walk on water to him. i feel tt now, where i am. i feel jesus calling out to me to do more things, to do great things. and if i step out of my boat, my comfort zone, i know tt he’ll let me walk on water. i know tt he’ll work great things in my life.

but what if i forget tt he’s e one tt’s making me walk on water? what if i think tt i’m e one making e miracles. what happens if i stumble and fall, and forget to call out to jesus?

i wonder if its a sin – to be afraid of becoming proud, of becoming bad, of becoming disconnected from god.

i’m supposed to be so wrapped up w work tt i forget to feel. so i dono why all this angst is still here. it’s irritating. i could rly not use it right now.

but i gotta admit, god has his plans. just when i felt numb from e toiling, god came to refuel thru e spiritual prep. wdv it is, just gotta continue to trust. one day at a time.

“Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will feel no fear. For the Lord is with me, His rod and His staff, they comfort me.”

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About Mel

I dreamt I was a whale. https://melvynfoo.wordpress.com/about-mel/