The first thing that I’ll say when a non-camper asks me how conficamp went is this: the camp high doesn’t seem as intense as the previous years. I don’t think it has anything to do with the the service team’s performance. We did pretty awesome, I think, by anyone’s standards. But somehow, the confirmands just didn’t seem that on fire.
I say this with all-too-human eyes that judge according to an all-too-human yardstick.
Because I feel somewhat differently. Ever since I did their sec 2 camp last year, I already felt a great sense of hope for this batch. This hope translated to excitement to doing this camp. And even post-camp, the hope is still there. So maybe God is saying otherwise.
As for myself, doing this camp, I discovered that I’ve grown quite a bit since my last few camps. At last year’s Confi, I got stressed and worried because I felt my group’s sharings weren’t deep enough, or that they wouldn’t have an ‘experience’. This time round though, I felt a lot more at peace. In fact, I felt so chill that I wondered if I was being complacent ._. so I went to ado for a while in the middle of camp to discern a bit for myself and purify my intentions. I don’t know when or how the growing happened, but praise God for it.
Oh. And I also learned somewhat about listening to someone’s heart, rather than someone’s words. It’s kinda inevitable when you talk to a kid for 45 minutes (because he didn’t want to play games) about psychology and sociology and only realize at the end that it’s his way of saying that he’s lonely.
Lo! A vision.
Session went rather well I think :D The skit was amazing. It was one of those rare and especially needed performances that went better than all the previous rehearsals. The actors were brilliant; they came up with their own lines and put in their own humor. Completely unintended. Completely effective. As for the paper cross activity, I’m not so sure. But the Simba video was unexpectedly powerful. Ah wells. God of surprises.
At debrief, Cheryl shared a vision that she had during intercessory: she saw me holding a golden quill O.o (Atas, no? Even God agrees~) Then she said (I’m not sure whether this is her interpretation, or part of her vision, or the grey area in between) that I’d write the scripts of people’s lives. That deserves another O.o Then I laughed sheepishly, and that was that.
Taking risks yo.
So yes, Juju and I tried out quite a few new things in our session – things that we weren’t sure at all whether would work. In fact, quite a few of us did. The final mime, our skit, music, games etc. Why not just use Testify to Love (tried and tested) instead of taking the risk with Alive Again? Why not just re-use previous session slides instead of coming up with wholly new ones? Why write a whole new skit instead of just using something that’s been done before?
By God’s grace, they worked. But I think the question is – what if they didn’t? What if the confirmands couldn’t relate? What if we just didn’t have the skill to do what we set out to do – creating mimes, writing skits, new music arrangements. The answer must be: that’s ok then.
Because we have to challenge ourselves too. That’s how the camp becomes fulfilling for us. That’s how we grow – by doing something new, by venturing out of our comfort zones, by creating. Thus I quote:
“The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possible can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.” – Kurt Vonnegut
There are always risks in discipleship. We have to let someone younger rise up to the occasion, without knowing whether he can pull it off. We have to work with people that we don’t know whether we can work with. We have to venture in new directions that we have never gone before. Ultimately, in taking those risks, we must be willing to accept failure by the world’s standards. And we can accept it, because we know we are prophets of a future not our own.
On the point of discipleship, I was really affirmed by OWL and the younger ones in this camp. I woke up on the second morning of camp, thinking to myself that I was getting too old for this (we’re 1.5x the confirmands’ age ._.). And for quite some time now, I’ve been wanting to move on. So when I told Corinne that she was the group IC in substance (while I was only group IC in name), I did so because I was starkly aware of the need for the younger ones to step up.
And they have. IOS’ show of support when Ben and Kevin gave testimonies are affirming signs of solidarity. And in every aspect of the camp, OWL members and others of that age (Greg, Jared, Amanda etc) were leading in various ways. So, yes. They are there.
P.S. Found a nice child-of-God-verse while reading my Timothy Radcliffe book:
Beloved, we are God’s children now; what we will be has not yet been revealed. What we do know is this: when he is revealed, we will be like him, for we will see him as he is. – 1 Jn 3:2
P.P.S. I feel like going for another holidayyyyyy. Maybe I shall fly somewhere after my July internship. And I need to resume my movie watching.