“Space, the final frontier… to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.” – Star Trek opening lines
I have never wanted to be an astronaut. I doubt I will ever want to. (Honestly, isn’t Woody so much cooler than Buzz?) From young, the pictures of the Apollos and Soyuz-es blasting off in encyclopedias never turned my boy-imagination on. Maybe when we get around to warp technology and alien lifeforms (zergzergtyranidszerg), then I’d be a little more excited. But until then, the emissions and the dockings and the spacesuits… nah.
(I wonder what the law governing wormholes will be like O.o)
I chose to do the Space Moots because it was the least of all evils – amongst commercial crap, climate change and IP. I wrestled with the moots. At times, I got the better of it; at times, it consumed me. At times, I remembered that this was all God’s plans; at times, I forgot.
When I was at my lowest, I didn’t want to talk much about it, I didn’t want to ask for prayers. It felt like I’d be indulging in my despondence. HTHT-ing and letting others know how lonely I felt just seemed like another cop-out to the root problem – my own relationship with Jesus.
All I prayed for those days was for help with the moots. So I stopped that. And I began praying to be friends. Things got better from thereon. Tough times are always easier with friends. (I miss my study group.)
And then came the words. That’s how I knew that I was on the right path. They were not the kind of words that you go around quoting. They were the kind of words that you heard once, and then forgot, so that all that remains is the wonder and the inspiration that those words evoked. (But I am too much of a writer, and not enough of a romantic to destroy that letter.) They were words from a loved one, probably from God too, likely both, likelier one and the same.
At the final frontier, as we head off to Japan, I feel the life. I feel ready to live and enjoy this experience for what it is – international, rare, prestigious, God-led. I feel ready to give this last burst whatever I’ve got. Endings are always new Beginnings. And I’ve been waiting for this to end for a long time now, and for a new phase of life to begin. But while we’re still at it, we sure as hell are gonna try to end off with a blast.
So now we go. And may He be with our mouths and teach us what we are to speak.
To the so many who have shared in this voyage (be it through the moot practices or the sob-stories), I promise you good news – regardless of whether we win or not.